that is what i am feeling right now. blank. i dread school so much that now i'm just feeling blank. yi song is going to drop docpro if he can and that means leaving me alone in the class with selwin (however his name is spelt) and URGGGHHHHH!!! don't even get me started.
I FRIGGING HATE BEING ALONE IN CLASS! >=(
why? why am i interested in broadcast rather than pr/marketing/advertising?! If i'm more interested in those boring topics, i would be specialising in broadcast and in turn, i wouldn't be alone in ALL my electives (if yi song drops out successfully)! and then i would be happy with all my friends cox we would all be in the same class and i wouldn't need to pretend to be friendly and cheery when actually i HATE AKWARD SMALL TALKS! i hate opening up and making new friends! don't you all realise i take very long to be friends with anyone? like when you all are friends already then i'll join in only later? BAHHHHHH!!!! why am i like that?! why do i hate the boring life?! and why do i have lousy social skills?! =(
if yi song really drops out i would be damn pissed with him cox he knows i hate it and he's leaving me in the shit hole! we're supposed to do our 1st assignment in pairs and freaking EVERYONE has grouped! and if he leaves now, i'll DIE! LITERALLY! BAHHHH!!!
but then again, it's not his fault either cox he really didn't ask for docpro to be his electives. he wanted to specialise in the boring stuff like the rest of them are doing and he's just doing what he likes like me. but when he goes over, he'll have the rest of our gang as classmates while i'm left with bitchy mass commers whom i don't even like. BAH!
bottom line is i am
selfish and i really wish yi song would stay but i really can't force him to and there is nothing i can do about it. so damn myself! BAHHHHH!!!!! >=(
i really don't wanna think about it but it keeps bugging me and i'll keep dwelling on it even though i don't want to and in the end i'll get depressed and i know it's not his fault but i can't help but feel pissy cox he gave me hope at first (i was DAMN happy when i found out he was in my docpro class! we even agreed on what we wanna do on our assignment!) then left me in the lurch! BAHHHHHHH!!!!
i hate this frigging world. it's always putting me in rough spots. like when we graduated from secondary school. it was to choose between my interest and friends. if i chose to go to SP and take doreen's boring business course, we would still be classmates! but what did i choose? i chose mass comm over her. so i am stuck in hell.
then it was about choosing IS last year. I chose to take drama and french over my friends even though we agreed on that boring
module cox i wanted my subjects to be interesting. and in the end, they were all in 1 class while i was in another. but thank god i had nicholas (guan) with me for both classes so i wasn't that bored.
and now, it's these stupid electives where i totally have no friends at all. life sucks and i would love it if the world would explode and kill every freaking person in it so i do not have to go through such shit again. BAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
i am feeling emo and fucked up. the world hates me. =(