i love it when we just spend time together doing absolutely nothing at all. cuddling together without anything being said to one another. i love the silence, i love the presence. i juz wanna be close and feel your warmth. absolutely love it.

silence can speak a thousand words.
`when you say nothing at all.

danced on the moon at 12:09 am.

ever got that feeling that you're disappointng the whole world out there? like everything you do or what you do is just simply not good enough even though you really tried? i did. that feeling sucked. big time. It's like whatever i do or how hard i try, my effort is just not enough. I do things my own pace, i hate pressure, i like my freedom. Don't force things onto me, i will do it when i say i am going to do it. It just takes time. However, this time i take may be a little too much. The whole world is disappointed with me. I hate this. I hate me.

danced on the moon at 12:57 am.

me n kelda. the only person whom i can speak chinese and hokkien to! haha!

oh ho ho!

swenson's burger. Go america! like totally..

danced on the moon at 12:08 pm.

Went to swenson's and the DHL hot ballon ride with Marcus. Super lame slogan - U CAN FLY! oh god. haha.


me n marcus.

danced on the moon at 11:48 am.

SO cute right? haha. i just can't get enough of nick. haha. like totally..

danced on the moon at 1:07 pm.

I love you without knowing how,
or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities or pride;
So I love because I know no other way than this.
Where I do not exist, nor you,
So close that your hand on my chest is my hand
So close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

If you love me only in my dreams, then let me be asleep forever.

danced on the moon at 11:19 am.

oh ho ho!

danced on the moon at 10:39 am.

I'm too emotional. I cry too much.

I'm sensitive. I think too much.

I care too much. I love too much.

I don't know how to express myself. I keep everything inside of me.

I'll never be understood. You'll never understand.

This is me. The problem IS me.

I hate this. I hate it. I hate me.

Fuck.

='(

`please don't force me.

danced on the moon at 3:29 am.

test results for my character. haha. (this is a must do school test)

Life as an ESFP 
(Extravert, Sensor, Feeler, Perceiver)
People of this type tend to be: warm, gregarious, and playful; impulsive, curious, and talkative; sensitive, caring, and gentle; social and unpredictable with a great zeal for life; active, responsive, and highly aware of the physical world.
The most important thing to ESFPs is freedom to be spontaneous, have fun, and enjoy the company of others.
They are happy-go-lucky, playful, and high spirited, but may also be distractible, disorganized, and impulsive. While they are affectionate, sensitive, and responsive, they tend to see only the good in others so they may be easily hurt or manipulated.

I am:
`friendly, approachable, and easygoing
`energetic, talkative, and playful
`curious, excitable, and spontaneous
`express concern about the problems of others

How to Love an ESFP (there's even tips on how to love me. haha.)

`Appreciate my enthusiastic and easy going nature.
`Have fun with me - try the spontaneous adventures I suggest.
`Be a supportive and non-judgmental listener.
`Be gentle but specific when discussing problems.
`Try not to restrict my freedom or force decisions too quickly.
`Above all - Express your own feelings and let me know you appreciate the many ways I nurture you.

Tips for Communicating with ESFPs: (even on how to communicate with me also got.haha.tok gong)
`Be friendly, and yet straightforward
`Emphasize how to help others in practical ways
`Take action! Respond immediately to requests
`Appeal to their common sense

danced on the moon at 12:16 am.

nicky darling. haha. SO cute. ha.



ali caught in action. whahaha.

sluty sluty nick. haha.

danced on the moon at 11:14 pm.

=))

friends forever =)

me n chicken =D

me n berenice

sisters 4eva =)







me n nicholas..like totally..ha

stupid chris n me. ha. stop looking until so zi si!! ha.

danced on the moon at 11:11 pm.

the new creation i made out of ali's and xj's meals. they made me make a wish. notice my stupid face? ha.





the reciept from fish and co.

danced on the moon at 12:45 pm.

yesterday was a really memorable and THE most happening birthday i ever had. haha. thanks you guys. 1st it was my class, then it was jeremy,kim,reen,yuwen,kelly,hui hui n benji. haha..u guys arh..haha..i'm speechless..but i'm thankful..haha..

it was all a plot..they asked jeremy to date me out yesterday and they all pretended that they were busy yesterday. And yes, i really believed them.ha. so i went out with jeremy and when he suddenly 1st time so zi dong suggested that he wanted to go douby ghout, so i say ok lo. then after that he said that he wanted to go park mall..which in his words in PORK MALL. haha. so i told him all park mall sells is furniture and he dun believe and ying ying want to go, so i go with him lo. then after that he bring me to fish and co there and refuse to leave cox i thought y the hell are we here if we are not eating..it wa only then, that i saw yu wen and realise what was happening. haha. i went in and saw all of them there. can you imagine how shocked i was? haha. thanks guys. you all really made my birthday real special.

and of all places they brought me to fish and co. which requires me to stand u on the chair..oh god. haha. SO pai seh la. good. v good. purposely one. haha.

after that went out with ali and xiao jun. 1st time i sit ali car. good, pass with flying colours. and his house ah, i tell you all..nice..haha..tok gong..they force me to drink beer.haha. haha. i'll remember that you say you wanna sing song for me de hor, if not i complain to doreen. haha.


i was bored during lecture.

the banana cake my class bought. notice the banana?



the horrendous mask they made me wear. reminds me SO much of sqiwerd(spoongebob).

irony.

danced on the moon at 12:43 pm.

ha.suprise surprise! My class celebrated my birthday for me today and i didn't even sense anything! haha. the majority of them left without me and i was with another group of my classmates. Then after a while, they called and pursaded us to go to king albert park's mac. And then from there, they tuo tuo la la a bit, then when i was talking to berenice, nick they all suddenly came out from no where with a birthday cake in his hands and they started singing a birthday song while walking towards me. haha. so shocked la. Thanks guys! T110 rocks! =D


nick n daniaal. haha.



T110! =D

they forced me to wear it. haha.

what's left.

danced on the moon at 3:59 pm.

yes, it's true, i'm here again, blogging in this boring lecture of mine..listening to my itunes with my friend. And tell you all a secret..i didn't even freaing know i had to do a home work for socpsyc (social psycology) and i had to hand it in by today 10 am. What a great way to start my day. I chiong through this stupid homework but the sstupid school mail thing is down. wtf. good, very good. So after sending my homework, i decided to blog since i already missed half the lecture. I shall just coopy notes from berenice later. Such a good girl she, copying everything down. Reminds me of my own good days. Whahahaha! Good, i like this knd of classmates. Whahahaha!

So aniwaes, just wanna thank all you guys out there that made the effort to wish me happy birthday. Haha. Most kua zhang is gan die already. Ha, msg me yesterday afternoon and wish me, IN CASE HE FORGETS. ha. Ya, then those that made the effort to ms me at ard 12 - janson, jamie,huixin. Ha. Jamie was the biggest surprise as we didn't contact each other for SO long, like since our SR days. Haha. She took the effort to rmb and msg me. Ha, thanks girl! And of course, marcus darling called me at ard 12 also. Haha, he cheng ba. haha. use call de. good, very good. Ha. And yes also thanks to jeremy dear. He called and sang bithday song. Haha. tok gong. Last but not least, i wanna thank those people that msg me this morning - susanna, gwen, alicia and ALL T110 my classmates. haha. Yu guys rmbed. ha..thanks ya? T110 rocks!ha.

danced on the moon at 9:21 am.

ok, i shall declare now that i shan't blog very often from now on as you all can see. basically, it's because this IS my life. it's BORING. accept it. also, i don't always have things to blog about. blogging is all about inspiration and the right moment; just like writing an essay or poem. A good literary work can only be produced when the inspiration comes, and of coz good timing. and so, i shall blog when it comes.

so anyways, i have to admit that i sometimes cannot stand being in my school. or my course to be specific. it's not that it's not good or what. but it's just so ang mor! and i mean SOOOO ang mor. almost everybody there speaks in english. no, scrape that. EVERYBODY there speaks in english. PERFECT ENGLISH. it's not that it's not good, but it's some what like a culture shock you know. it's like i've been speaking mandarin in school for the whole 16 years of my life and now BOOM!! in comes the english speaking environment. i just simply can't take it. i speak english until i scared. i also dunno y. yes, i know i come from an english speaking family, i'm english educated, i do speak eng to certain friends in sec school; but never so much before! even so, i speak broken eng my whole life, english that i'm comfortable with. but now, i HAVE to speak PERFECT english or i'll be like an outcast or something, like SO CHEENA. oh god. can you imagine?

i was speaking on the phone to doreen once in mandarin while i was with my classmates, then suddenly one of my classmate said 'wha!u mean u actually speak in chinese?' omg...i mean duh? what was that supposed to mean? this is too much man. and then, there's once where my classmates tried to converse in chinese and they all had that funny funny accent you know. and they were trying to say penang in chinese but they didn't know so i told them it's bing cheng la. and they said 'wha!you mean you know? you're so good at it!' and all i did was tell them what the hell penang is in chinese. and they tried telling it to another classmate in cinese and all they got back was the 'plz-speak-english' look and a 'huh?'. nobody freaking knows chinese in my school! what is this world coming to?!

even the modules i'm doing are all about english - written communication, speech communication, etc. i'm learning grammar in DETAILS! paragraphs and what ever comes with it in DETAILS! phonetics again!! oh.my.god. no wonder you need at least an A in english in order to get into mass com. I'm drowning in english. god, and i thought english was SIMPLE. i was SO wrong man. those that want to enter mass com, please reconsider. well, that is unless u really love eng to the core and english is your life la, then i have nothing to say.

but all i can say now is - i need some chinese influence before i die in the world of english.

danced on the moon at 11:32 pm.

i will never EVER go to pizza hut with the guys ever again.ha.NEVER.

*i'll be waiting for you to make the 1st move cox i nvr will.it's up to you now to decide our fate.it's up to you to decide whether we can still be friends not.If you don't know i'm talking about you then i'm sorry.

danced on the moon at 12:19 am.

what i wanna say is singaporean taxi drivers seriously need to do their HOMEWORK!!omg!!kns..idiot man the driver, if i know how to go i need to take cab meh?!good, very good!then when gonna reach already, he still say 'should be somewhere around here, you all help me see la.' OMG!! i mean duh! i know it's somewhere around here too, i'm not blind!And excuse, am i obliged to help you see? you're the driver, you SHOULD know. god. this is getting so bad.

*i've decided to put it all behind, to forget all the things you did, to let you into my life again, to give us a chance to be good friends again. I'm ready, are you?

danced on the moon at 11:14 pm.

This is a tribute to DOREEN TAN PEI ZHEN. Whahahaha! She amused me so much during this boring tutorial and i think i shouldn't be selfish and i should share it with you guys. So enjoy! I know i sure did. haha.


identify the thing on her head?

look at her eye bags.

well..this IS her favourite past time

danced on the moon at 10:03 am.

oh my god, here i m again, 1st lecture of the day, the week even. And the great thing is it starts at 8, oh wow, how excited i m. why? why?! why did i even choose to come to poly in the first place? where are the slack periods? where?! omg, torture for me until 4pm today. God, what am i supposed to do?! This is a true serious case of monday blues.

danced on the moon at 8:06 am.

anger..it's somthing that engulfs us all, something that can control our bodies and minds. When angers fills us up, nothing we do or say is logical anymore. We do not have control over our own feelings and emotions, and whatever we don't really wanna say just comes out from our mouths(or that is what we really wanna say just comes out). Anger blinded us all. Strong, powerful. Dangerous feeling to meddle with. And well, i guess it all boils down to how we can overcome this powerful feeling that everyone feels. Everyone has their own little ways of overcoming it and well, it is kind of obvious that some people can do it better than others la, that's why we have anger management courses what. Some people get so hot, that they do stupid and crazy things. Some just get anger for that breif moment only. So which catergory do you fall in? ponder ponder.

Any two people that spend their time together are bound to have friction. After all, people are people and people ARE different. Nobody is perfect, nobody can fit each other perfectly. Everyone has flaws. But it is whether they can smooth out that friction a not, can they learn to love and live with the other person's flaw a not that makes the difference. It is this that can make two people live in harmony and it not only applies to a relationship but also to a family, a community and even the whole world. If only everyone just learned...

danced on the moon at 1:03 am.

i love you as deep as the deepest ocean, as high as the highest mountain. I hope you don't mind that i put down in words, how wonderful life is now you're here in the world. feel the love people~ =)

danced on the moon at 10:52 pm.

WELCOME TO MY LIFE

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life

danced on the moon at 9:48 pm.

BREAKAWAY

Grew up in a small town
and when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky..
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get aboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane far away
And breakaway...

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway...

Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway...

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me
But I gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away
Breakaway

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly,
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye

I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway...

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance,
Make a change,
And breakaway...

Breakaway
Breakaway...

danced on the moon at 9:29 pm.

friends - they're something very important in life. To me, i cannot live without my friends. i love my friends. They're something so special that words can't describe how you feel about them sometimes. I have many different groups of friends in my life, and at one point of time, i admit that i did neglet one group or another. But all i wanna say is that although i may not have enough time to spend with all my friends, whether i negleted u all or not, i juz want you all to know that you guys are always in my heart. It's just one part of me that will always be there and i love you guys. Thanks for being there for me. =) Yes, this is going out to you that is reading my blog. I LOVE YOU. ha, oh my, i sound so gay.

people who are close to my heart:
hua - doreen, jessica, osborne, melvin, shone, ming liang.

lots - susanna, seow ling, xiu yue.

beatty - hui xin, kimberly, yu wen, kelly.

band - hui xin, kai beng, ulfred, kelvin, song lin, wei yang, nicole, sherry, geng qin, ting ting.

sizzler - kevin, gio, earvin, marcus, jeremy, annie, randy, steven, xiao jun, eddy, tian mu, melvin, ken, ming tai, sheena.

LOVE YOU GUYS. =)

danced on the moon at 3:56 pm.

trapped. Doesn't everybody feel that in their lives at some point of a time? irony. Everyone is living a facade everyday. Everybody looks all so gay and happy on the outside, but on the inside are they really all that happy? Can anyone be truely happy for their whole lives? Even those that we say are very fortunate and blessed, like those rich families out there; are they really happy and contented with all their riches? Even if they're rich, do they feel the love and warmth that every family is supposed to have? Even with all the riches in the world, can they buy love and happiness? Those that are not so well off, they envy the higher class people, they yearn to be like them, they must try so hard to make ends meet everyday and they too are unhappy. The richer people want to be like the poorer people where although they ae poor they are happy(only true for some) but the poorer people dream of being in the higher class world. irony, irony, irony.

Every family is a facade, everyone is a facade. They all hide their unhappy feelings or embarassing matters, what they think is disgraceful inside and only show people their happy side and act so nonchalant infront of people just because of their 'face'. But is face that important? Is it more important than wat they feel? more important than true happiness? more important than love?

Everyone is their own enemy, the inner devil of everyone is always there. Everyone is putting on a facade. Till when can we see each other for who we really are? Irony.

`I just want to BREAKAWAY.

danced on the moon at 2:16 pm.