NARCISSIST.
carolyn
21
15 may
opal_amber32@hotmail.com
chapman university singapore.

YAKKATY YAK.




CHUMS.
aini
berenice
charlene
doreen
gengqin
geraldine
huimei
huixin
jessica
kaibeng
kelda
kimberly
kym
michelle
nazeeya
nicole
osborne
sarah
seowling
susanna
tishone

BON VOYAGE.
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02/2011

CREDITS.
pictures : one
brushes : one two
pattern: one
designer : sweet_surrender
others : blogger blogskins

omg
Tuesday, July 31, 2007

i swear i am the biggest idiot in the whole wide world! 

i actually accidentally reformatted my SD card and now ALL the pictures in my camera are gone. which means bye bye orange ribbon event. bye bye newswriting photos! 

fuckkkkkkkkkkk!!!! i swear i am going to kill myself! i swear! omgggggggggggggggg........

luckily i got a name card of 1 photographer that night and i can TRY and ask her to sponsor me the photos for free. oh my fucking god. pls make her say yes..pls pls pls!!! 

i swear i am going to cry. ='(((((((((((((((((((

danced on the moon at 2:16 am.

tagged

Please read the rules first:
Each player of the game starts off by giving 6 weird things about themselves.
People who get tagged needs to write in a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rules clearly.
In the end, you'll need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their name.

and i was tagged by osborne chan ao bang.
how old already he still do this kind of thing. haha!

1) i entertain myself. literally. i like to do weird or stupid actions just to make myself laugh.

2) i get high easily - by my own active imagination and nonsensical sense of humor.

3) i burp. in public. haha. but i guess that's no surprise to anybody. not fun anymore. >=( hahaha!

4) i laugh at my own jokes. no matter what other people think. because i seriously think my jokes are kick ass funny.

5) i have a fetish with hands. haha. no surprise as well. =X


6) i can do a lot of things in the toilet. read, phone, sms, msn, use my laptop, sing, use my active imagination and talk to myself. yes. that is all. i think.


and finally the 6 peeps who are gonna be doing this.

1) jessica
2) kimberly
3) kelda
4) sarah
5) char
6) shone

danced on the moon at 12:56 am.

steven lim
Monday, July 30, 2007

i am very pleased to say that i am dedicating this entry of my blogger to fellow *cough* blogger *cough* steven lim. he is the first ever stranger i am dedicating a WHOLE entry to. so, he should be proud. oh, and it's kinda long. so bear with it.

first, the introduction of his blog.

www.stevenlim.net

i shall start by pointing out that if he were in my vebd class, shan would probably give him an F immediately, run back to phakistan crying and pulling the whatever-is-left-on-his-head hair out.

oh. my. god. DEFINITELY NO white space, no template, no design at all. and what's up with all the layers and highlighting of paragraphs with super bright neon colours? definately an F. all the words are so cramped up and it doesn't work for all browsers. a number 1 big nono. tsk tsk.

well, in case he didn't know, i shall introduce him a wonderful tool in dreamweaver called TABLES. yes. oh! and aligning your words and pictures center would really help too. oh! btw. help me say hi to the ants who are reading your blog. i'm sure they find your font humongous. =)

here's a few quotes that i would really like to mention.

1. "Pls generously donate n sponsor our website to show ur support to me n my entertainment, you could ATM/Internet bank transfer any amount of sponsorship to my Singapore's POSB Savings bank account at 130389325. If by Credit/Debit Card or Paypal, pls click DONATE button for whichever country you from."

hmmm... are you desperate or are you desperate? this is another way of saying...

please give me money for my daily expenses. i have no job as i am an EX eyebrow PLUCKER and my stripping services are going downhill. I don't care where you are from, just give me the money. i am willing to be your gigolo. =)




2. "Welcome to The World's Most Handsome Guy Official Fan Web/Blog!!!!! "宇宙大帅哥"博客, Steven Lim alias Dragon"- Ex-Street Eyebrows Stylist In Singapore, N Yellow Swimming Trunks Stripper in SG Idol! Singapore's famous hunky star/ model!"

okayyyyy.....self confidence is good. but too much? BIG nono. and in case you haven't spot your mistake yet, which i'm sure you haven't. world does not = to 宇宙. 宇宙 is universe. 世界 then is world. =)




3. "Looking for a girlfriend, no matter you are black, white or orange. As long you r pretty, nice, faithful n gorgeous & gorgeous. Dun hesitate to adopt me. Application to be my girlfriend/stead now open! Whilst stock last! Call/ sms +(65)93857300 to apply now. Tell all your friends about it! "

hmmm...again~ despo, despo, despo~ *shakes my index finger left and right* i'm sorry but i have to say that your grasp of english is not very good. It should be..

"looking for a girlfriend, no matter whether you are black, white or orange."

but what is black, white or orange? is he looking for a piece of charcoal, turnip or carrot? i think he can get those at supermarkets. no need to advertise online for it. =) and why must he repeat gorgeous twice? thrice actually if you count pretty. oh wells. who am i to say? later he say i eat potato. again, i have to stress that the last 5 lines sounds like...

Adopt me cause i am a pet! Applications to be my sugar mummy is now open! call this hot line to bring me home! but of course you need to apply first because being a pet that i am, i am really HAWT and i tend to be out of stock like a piece of furniture. oh! remember to tell all your rich friends because i am a pet and i need lots of love! i am REALLY willing to be your gigolo. =)




4. "This is really hilarious. Dun no where Xia Xue got the info that I was paid only $20 for the Girls out Loud match making TV thingy with her... I was in fact paid $50 just to pretend to be her admirer for a while"

you're damn right this is hilarious. *sniggers and points at you* hahahahahaha. just a word of advice? next time, when there's only a difference of $30, please just keep it to yourself. saying it out loud? you will only embarrass yourself further.




5. "I lived in a condo rented by Tammy n her flat mates...She cooked very delicious food especially vegetables..During the stay, she complaint that I got super low sexual desire which was a shock to me also..No sex even for the last night I spent with her before I come back to Singapore! not even the nights before..!!! I felt so guilty!!! She wants it, n keep crossing her legs over n put it there but I simply dun want leh..sianz..thinking of have to wash n bathe again..Not very good lah for me..in future, my wife will sure complain too...."

righttttttttttttttttt........ i wonder where she got her name from? and "she wants it and just puts her legs there?" how disgusting can you get by degrading a woman like that AND posting it on your blog? well, at least you got 1 thing right. you are DEFINITELY NOT a good sexual partner.




6. to xx: " Hmmp! Dun play with u anymore!"

okayyyy... then why do you post videos of you scolding her AND you have a whole series of whatever detective crap story about you AND her. not only that, you even wrote in the story that SHE IS the love of your life. wow. i guess not playing in your vocab means becoming your lover huh? also, you know they say that when a writer writes his first ever serious novel, there are some elements of truth in it? i think the truth is that, you actually secretly admire xx AND the character that is conveniently named after you is who you actually wanna be. it is your ideal you. the novel is your own little world where everything goes just the way you want it to be. ya. i know it is. oh! and btw, it's widower. NOT widowed. widowed is only for women. =)




moving on, we have of course, the wonderful videos on youtube. which are, obvoiusly, self made. pls be warned that some videos are flagged inappropriate by youtube members. watch at your own risk.

1. Wan Bao,晚报 Please Kindly Sue 请控告 Xia Xue 下雪 Aka Wendy Cheng


again, i have to stress that his english is NOT very good. *extra stress on his pronunciation. does he have lisp or something? anyways.

*clap**clap* he used "pot calling the kettle black" and "midget" in this video. a huge improvement from his previous vids. proof to him that his english is really tok gong. wow. i think i learned that in primary school. opps! =X

he is actually contradicting himself. "you're nothing" then " you're just dust" and "you're dusty". *sniggers yet again* well, first i would like to say that, you can't be dust when you're nothing AND you can't be dusty when you're already a dust. it's like saying...

hey! you're crusty and you are a piece of crust!

wow. great. bravo.

and what's up with the kuku-ing, chicken pie-ing and the you sucks, sucks, sucks-ing? omg. fainted.

and! your camera skills are not very good. you are supposed to pan SLOWLY so that people can see and read properly. omg. noob.

and i seriously think that the other person he is scolding? is imaginary. SERIOUSLY.

and the last part? the imitation of baby ally? oh my god. JUST DROP IT. SERIOUSLY. 100% tak cute. ugh. totally grossing me out now.

yaya.. you're SOOO hamsome and she's SOOOO ugree. you were right. WHATEVER!




2. MostHandsome宇宙大帅哥StevenLim大跳Michael Jackson's的BillieJean!


i swear he looks like a monkey while dancing. especially his facial expression. now i truly believe that we have evolved from the prime apes.

also! the pimping starts again! ughhhhhh!!!!! seriously. somebody just slap him!




3. Handsome Steven Lim Amazing Beatbox Singing No 2

yaya, we ALL believe that you are beatboxing.




4. Superstar Steven Lim's Super Body Building Video! 新加坡巨星建美影片!


first things first, what's up with the look at me! i'm a bird and i can fly! see me spread my wings and ALL the ridiculous actions throughout the whole video? he can NEVER be a choreographer.

2. all the ugh ugh sound while forcing his "muscles" out. totally gross please. also. if there is nothing. please do not even TRY to attempt to squeeze something out. the blob of meat on your tummy is still showing.

3. is that oil or sweat on your body? how about that blotch of wet thing on to your underpants? =/

4. AGAIN! hi! i'm selling myself online right now! call me cox i'm a hunk and i love being your gigolo no matter which country you are from! COME! LET'S SPEND SOME TIME TOGETHER! =\




5. Steven Lim karaoke sings 范逸臣's"I believe"


WHAT'S WITH THE FREAKY SMILING AND ACTIONS IN THE FRONT?! ahhhhhhhhhh!!! *runs away and hides in one dark corner*

erm. also. the secret desire to be a teen titan character is REALLY not working.



please either 1. get a pair of glasses with 2 proper lenses or 2. get rid of the other lens that doesn't even FIT the frame. ugh. omg. *faint.

another pointer for you! i am not be an expert at singing but even i can tell that you REALLY REALLY do have troubles with it.
1. your voice is too tight.
2. you are singing with only 1 qiang.
3. your bi qiang is SO not working.
4. you cannot hit the upper notes because like mentioned, look at no.1. you are not opening your throat enough.
5. when unable to reach high notes, 1. either use jia ying or 2. just stop singing altogether. NEVER attempt to hit them when you can't because you will sao xia. which is exactly what you are doing now.

also! stop posting pictures of yourself at the end of your videos. corny to the max! -_-




6. Steven Lim dances to "Lady Marmalade"!林宜傧热舞狮城!


like i said before, he can NEVER be a choreographer. ALSO! if you notice carefully, the video said that "too small, so i use toilet roll". no prize for guessing and seeing where he puts the toilet roll. well, at least he admits he's small. and i earnestly believe that he is doing the chin ups the wrong way? isn't his hand supposed to face the other side? oh wells. i don't enjoy seeing him sweating on my screen anyways. note that he is wearing the same underwear as the one where he danced the birdie dance.




7. 星加坡偶像参赛者Steven Lim(林宜傧) 性感冲凉热舞!不能错过!


you're right man. a loser will always be a loser. yaya.. sexy sexy. whatever.

SAY NO TO CRACK!!! also say no to steven lim in shower acting cutesy, all giggly and having fun with water(wtf?). say no to big blob of fat bulging out at his tummy area. say no to steven lim soaping himself and acting sexy. say no to pubic hair. say no to gay geisha in shower.

THIS VIDEO IS THE CHAMPION. NO NEED TO SAY ANYTHING ALSO SO GROSS. OMG. FAINTED. SERIOUSLY GROSS!!! *grabs hair, screams and starts running around*




finally, we have arrived at the last part of the entry. photos criticizing time!


hmmm...why are my undies always wet?


no prize for guessing who's that scrawny looking kid over there.


uh-oh. tummy tummy tummy~ oh! and btw, i LOVE showing the public my naked photos because i am oh-so-macho. =)

but you've GOT TO admit. he's one funny guy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! i swear. after watching all of his videos online, i almost died of laughter.
*laughs so loud, rolls on the floor and dies*

danced on the moon at 12:40 am.

yum yum
Sunday, July 29, 2007

my mummy loves me.

BIRD NEST = LOVE

hehehehehehhe.

danced on the moon at 10:47 pm.

rahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 27, 2007

fuckkkkkkkkkkk. i swear. some people are just born to irritate me. RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

i swear ok, you fucking have an IQ & EQ of a fucking kid. when then can you learn how to grow up and STOP running away from your problems? i don't care whether you think you are running away or not. BECAUSE YOU ARE. your defensive walls are SOOOOOO high up, you can't see the other side of the fence which is what other people like me, are seeing. 

PANG GUAN ZHE QING. never hear before ah?

seriously man. i am trying to HELP YOU here and all you can do is defend yourself. you can't even fucking be motivated enough to go find yourself an interviewee. i know you have already asked your friends and they all can't make it. but are you sure that those FIVE miserable people are the ONLY friends you've got? i told you to start asking and finding people for your test since wednesday right? and what did you do? why must you always wait for the LASTTTTT min then do something and pray that a miracle happens and every works out well. and if it doesn't. MC. ALWAYS MC. fuck. you can never always rely on MC ok? do you know how close you are from getting expelled? why can't you think for yourself for once? just once. why must we as friends worry about you when you yourself are not even worried? i know you are going to say that of cox you know you are close to getting expelled and you want to quit school. YOU SEE. THAT IS RUNNING AWAY. 

seriously man. i dunno how to help you already. i know. you are going to say that you never asked for my help but fuck you ok? if you weren't my friend and i don't care about you then i wouldn't be doing all this for you ok? RAHHHHHH. can't you even feel our concerns at all? do you know how much we care and worry about you? GOD. 

i am helping you look for an interviewee now ok? can you please help yourself too? at least try one last time to find someone? ugh. i am damn angry AND disappointed with you now can? you are ALWAYS like that. always expecting someone to spoon feed you EVERYTHING. but the world doesn't work this way ok, honey? you've got to learn that. wake and grow up.

i swear, if it wasn't you, i would have blown my top long ago already. i swear i have sugar coated my words. if i didn't, you would have died from all my scolding and swearing. i would have given up on you a long time ago. 

i swear. i tried. i really tried. i did my best to help you. but i still can't find an interviewee for you. i simply don't know what to say to you anymore. i am really very tired already. if you still insist on acting like a child then i have nothing to say.

i am not scolding you. seriously. i am too tired to do that. i'm sorry if i sounded harsh but it's the truth. i just want you to know that we are all trying our best to help you. but are you trying your best to help  yourself?

danced on the moon at 12:56 am.

hmmm...
Thursday, July 26, 2007

it's official. newswriting is the module i hate THE most. look at what her email says.

Dear students:
While I see a more earnest effort, I still don't think you are out of
the woods.
Some story ideas remain so vague I can only say they really make a
mockery of any competancy in collecting facts, deciding on angles and
writing to a structure you've achieved for FA 1.

Pls go beyond the obvious superficial angles and really get working -
chasing and giving in drafts and pix next week. Even if your events
are in Aug, you will really be digging your own grave if you wait till
then to start interviews. By then performers will be so busy you might
not get any interviews and you will be reduced to scratching walls out
of frustration - I kid you not. It has happened in real life
newsrooms. Start now if your performance matters to you.

Thanks - see you in class tomorrow. Please note by far you are still
the slowest group in my entire cohort of 98 students
- an irony given
the performance of some of you on previous assignments. And I do
expect you to pull up your socks drastically.

FUCK.
RAHHHHHHH!!!

ah fuck, i never wanted to do newswriting anyways. i just can't stand writing and deadlines. i hope that i can get at least a B for radio becox tt is what i want to do. best is A. oh ho ho. but i no i think too much. i think i can aim for a B+. but thanks to youth patrol i now have a C for radio. blah. i just hope i can get an A or B for this weeks test. cox:

C + B + A + (B) = B
C + B + A + (A) = B+

blah.

anyways, on the bright side, i finally went to watch harry potty in vivo today with reen n ml. and i bought a pair of flats for onli 30 bucks. hehehe. i saw the same pair of flats of cox with a better brand and material at 70+. woo! i am still happy. i think harry potty was ok la. not THAT bad. just that everything happened too quickly. the essence of the book is still there but the small little things that matters are totally cut off. but then again, it is onli for 2 n a half hours. what do you expect when the book is so fucking long? boo.

anyways. i saw this pair of shorts at river island on sale. it cost 50 bucks even so. me like it. but its a bit too big and stiff. but not a lot of shorts can fit me. but reen, han and chai all say its not worth it. but i want a pair of white shorts like this!



wat say you?

also! i saw on the train this girl! she not say very fat, hand oso not very cu. BUT WHY HER LEG SOOOOOO cu?! cu until her ankle there no! scary! got stretch marks summor. so puzzling lo! so amazing. the 1st time i see.









i'm not laughing at her or anything. but i just think that this is so...wow...
i feel for her.

danced on the moon at 1:51 am.

ridiculous
Monday, July 23, 2007

WHY WHY YOU TELL ME?! WHY MUST THE BOOKING FARES FOR TAXIS DURING PEAK HOUR BE SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS?! RAHHHHH!!!! the starting fare was already $8.50! WTFFFFFF?!! seriously. they think the whole of singapore very rich?! KNN. RAHHHHH!! early early in the morning make me tu lan onli...RAHHHHH!!!! $8.50 is like the amount i need to pay for the whole trip to school on a normal price lo! WTFFFFFFFFFFF. seriously man. seriously. Also! the uncle still got time to read the sports section of the newpaper during the change of traffic lights. wtfffffff... RAHHHHHHHH!!! luckily he looks ci xiang enuff...if not make me more tu lan! rahhhhhh!!!!

I AM NOT HAPPY. SERIOUSLY NOT HAPPY.


somebody entertain me now before i explode! RAHHHHHHH!!!!!

danced on the moon at 9:32 am.

biatchhhhhhhhhh

seriously man! i totally cannot stand some people! totally gross pls! ughhhhh!!!! mother never teach you manners ah huh? fucking hell know..i very tu lan alr, still wanna make me more tu lan... RAHHHHHHHHH!!! "oh, im not interested" then immediately offline. FUCKING NO MANNERS. fuckkkkkkkk. think i very interested in you ah? yao bu shi you are SOOOOOOO fucking scandalous, lao niang cai lan de li ni ah. fuck! and you are only nothing more than another last minute back up lor! spare tire! RAHHHHHHHH! i shall not waste me time and energy on ninnies like you who obviously have no grasp over the english language still want people to miss you blog. OMG. fan xing pls! go look 1st the mirror before you even say anything. kena debar even best. laggi tok gong. haven even 1 sem end yet you wanna kena debar alr. orbee. stupid bimbo. oh wait. i can't even call you a bimbo because despite all you have done, you still don't have the looks nor the body. thick thick make up no use one. ugly means ugly. no use hiding. ugh. totally gross pls. i don't talk to people who photoshop their photos. tramp.

i hate my radio test time slotttttttt......it is making things difficult for me cox all the interesting people in my life all can come only AFTER my time! rahhhhhh!!! why lidat why lidat?! me is angry 1 lo. rahhhhh!!! anybody who thinks you are interesting, pls volunteer yourself to me. NOW. rahhhhhhh!!!!!!

quote from shannon: "i hate school...i hate mass comm... why am i even in mass comm?"
oh how true it is. fuck. mass comm is a bitch.

danced on the moon at 1:35 am.

Movies
Sunday, July 22, 2007

omg!many many nice movies is in cinemas or coming soon! oh my tian oh my tian oh my tian! date me go watch! date me date me!

1) Harry Potty
2) The Ex
3) The Simpsons
4) Alone
5) Ratatouille
6) Underdog
7) Evan Almighty
8) Secret (bu neng shuo de mi mi)
9) Hairspray
10) Rush Hour 3

i think there's still more just that i cannot remember only! hahaha! DATE ME!!! omg..so exciting la! woo!

btw, my brother bought the new harry potty book so thanks jessi! i think i take from my bro can alr. evil borne i shall not even start on. woo! so exciting! woo!

i admit i am a cheapskate. i do not BUY books just to read them unless i REALLYYYYYY want it or like that book. most of the time, i just borrow. because even if i buy it, i will only read it once and tuck it somewhere to collect dust.

luckily for me, i have a brother that thinks differently. woo!

destressing at vivo with han on thurs was fruitful. WOO! hahahaha! i just love sales. don't you love sales? like i said, i am CHEAPO. HAHAHAHAH.

oh ya..my baby fry to taiwan for 3 whole weeks alr. =(( but on the upside, i am FREE ON WEEKENDS for 3 whole weeks! so date me! for movies too! woo! HEHEHEHHEHEHE =DD

btw, blisters sucks, esp. broken ones. =(((

danced on the moon at 3:34 pm.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Saturday, July 14, 2007

FINALLY chess club is OVER! over you hear me?! OVER! phew! life is finally worth living for again. i seriously CANNOT stand my group members. really. san pat untillllll. woo! the zui ba even more jian than mine ah. haha. so mean lo they all! esp. TAUFIQ & NICHOLAS! hahahahahah! i tell you!!! got this guy in international chess, get 2nd only cry know! summor is not those kind, just have watery eyes kind of cry. is those really cry until whole face got tears kind of cry know! WHA LAO. guy summor lei. get 2nd is not the end of the world. there are other things in the world worth living for other than chess. siao 1 lo. seriously. cry until machiam like got somebody die lidat know! haha! summor that TAUFIQ v bad 1 know! still say he go and jump the building becox he get 2nd then too sad. hahahaha. na beh. so mean right? hahahah. summor he still say the guy is from ACC, throw their face. haha! so mean lo taufiq. how can you lidat? huh huh you tell me. 

then hor! not tt i wanna say la. but i really kan bu shun yan tt janice woman ah. every time wu tai ji bo tai ji like to stand there and kpkb. not that i wanna say her ah. really. but she this kind of people is really asking for it wan ah. her face got write "da wo" this 2 words lo. i think she is backside itchy, nothing to do must people bitch about her then she happy. whole day down there give v face then order people do thing. people no do thing she no happy know. like wtf. i swear she looks like a man. even kelda oso say so. she even more mean. she say "huh? that 1 not guy meh?" HAHAHAH! so mean right? tsk tsk tsk. but really la. i mean, she face and body alr lidat already still want to stand there kpkb know. this 1 is no shame ah no shame. i think she aspire to be  a bung lei. really. she no breast still wear sports bra. asking for trouble. summor she cut her hair until like guy like that. and her fashion sense ah. one word - ALAMAK. jia lat until cannot jia lat. tok gong until cannot tok gong man. woo! she say she no.2 no one dare to say they no. 1 man. kao. really lo. she wear those new balance sport shoes, HUGE baggy tee shirts, HUGE baggy jeans with her tight tight sports bra, EVERYDAY. i swear. everytime i see her she always wear that. fainted sia. why? you tell me why? doesn't mean you in chess club then no need to zu zhong your xing xiang. tsk tsk. bao ya summor. woo! sat key man! woo! i'm sorry NICHOLAS. i don't mean to say your sweetheart until like that. but really, i cannot tahan her. i am going to photoshop her away from our group photo. HAHAHA. i know la. she stand in front of you when we taking you very happy right? an shuang onli you. tsk tsk. hahaha. ok. i promise you i crop you and her in another picture for your wallet. so sweet right? awwwww. both smile until so sweet in the picture summor. so sweeeettttt. tsk tsk. aiyo. don't worry la. tell you a secret. DORKS KISS BEST. so you are in for a treat man. HAHAHAHA.

and hor! when we were going home that time right, i spotted a bunch of chess club people at the bus stop fountain there. alamak. apparently, they find joy in play with the water. seriously. what is chess club doing to these people?! are they THAT deprived?

so obscene!

meanie no.1 - NICHOLAS
meanie no.2 - TAUFIQ

you see you see! how can i not say them?! all crowd around and play summor! fainted!

more chess club pictures coming soon...

friday after school, me, kelda and yi song went to clementi to play pool! woo! hahaha. all i can say is noob means noob. HAHAHAHAA. 






we pattern many many only! HAHAHAH!
see how bored yi song can get?

random time now!
i saw this at canteen 1. like wtf. hahahaha!
rambo!!!! hahahahha!
this woman. all i can say is. she really made my day. HAHAHAHAHA. just look at how her hair is tied up. really is wtf sia. ha. she think lidat cute. good. v good. i give her 0.001 points for trying and 3 points for courage.

danced on the moon at 8:22 pm.

friends
Wednesday, July 11, 2007

humans are weird creatures. we are the smartest beings on the planet and sometimes, we just get too complacent of that and forget our feelings. 

it's called selective memory. sometimes, when we really don't want to remember parts of our memory or someone, our brain just forgets. it purposely forgets so we don't have to think about it anymore, so that we can stop hurting for whatever reason. but yet, subconsciously, we know it is still there. it is still somewhere deep inside our heads and we just simply refuse to call it back up and remember it.

sometimes, what we choose to remember are the negative sides and memories of people, and we tend to forget the good and positive side of that person that we once fell in love with. and more often than not, it is seen during a parent-child scenario where the parents always harp on the bad things that the kid did and forget about the good things. it happens to everybody, on anyone. which is, i conclude, bad for ALL our health.

for example, i was so busy getting annoyed with this friend of mine over the past few weeks over very simple things and i subconsciously, just refused to have any contact with him unless necessary and at times, even brushing him off as a forgotten person. but today, when i finally got to talk to him normally again, i begin to realise what i have been missing the whole time. 

while i was busy shutting him out of my world, his world was still revolving very finely i might add, without me. and after talking to him, i realised that i actually really do miss him a lot. i miss talking to him, i miss seeing him because i have SO not seen him for SO long, i miss gossiping about stuff to him, i miss his logical reasoning about my problems, i miss his shoulder to cry on, i miss him being there for me, i miss him sharing his problems with me and most importantly, i miss being a part of his world and him being a part of mine.

people change and as we grow, we may or may not drift further apart. it is very hard to predict. and for a period of time, we grew apart. but i realise that, because of the strong bond of friendship that we have in the past, as soon as we started talking again, it felt like nothing ever happened before. like we never drifted away from each other at all. talking to him was very easy and we talked as if we were just like before. and i like that kind of feeling. 

and it is because of friends like him that really make my life complete, fun and worth living every minute of it. and so, here is a very special post to friends like these.


DOREEN, JESSICA, MING LIANG, OSBORNE, SHONE
you guys are like the bestest friends that anybody could wish for and over the past 6 years of knowing you all, i never regretted any moment of it. you guys were there for me no matter what, and i really mean no matter what. you guys were there to share my joys and my woes. my fears and my thoughts. and i really thank you for that. you all never gave up on me and were really my listening ears and shoulders to cry on when i needed you all. 

Doreen: although after going to poly, we hanged out lesser than usual and were all busy with our school work and new friends, you never fail to be there for me when i needed you and thank you. you were always ready with your stupid nonsense and jian zui ba for everything. haha. we know each other inside out and there is nothing between us left to hide. =)) though you have been MIA for quite sometime, because you are always uncontactable even with smoke signal and you live in a place where even the flowers refuse to grow, i know you will still be there for me. you are still my bestest friend and i love you many many. ha.

Jessica: San pat woman! i swear you are THE most san pat woman i have ever known in my entire life. if anything, poly has made our friendship grow even stronger because of all the whining and bitching we have about school and people! hahahah! your sharp tongue never fails to amuse me and you were ALWAYS there for me when i needed you and i really thank you for that. you never fail to cheer me up when i'm sad and scold those bastards for me. ha. i still insist we go on more shopping trips! hehehe! you are also one of my bestest friend and i love you many many too! =DD *giggles*

Ming Liang: you, my friend, have REALLY changed. appearance wise and character wise. i shall never again say that beatty boys are ungentlemenly. you, have successfully broken the horrible curse! heheheh! you've open doors, helped me with my laptop w/o me asking, walked slowly with me because my feet were hurting due to the stupid heels and placed yourself at the more dangerous end of the road when with me. you, my friend, have DEFINITELY changed. and it's good. REAL good. =D you have become more conscious of your appearance and obviously it has been working like a charm for you ever since! congrats man! hahaha! you were the only guy in our gang that could ALWAYS be there for me physically. partially also because you live in tpy also la. haha. but that is not the point. ha. whenever i needed a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on, you were always there for me no matter what time of the day it is. you were ALWAYS there and i love you for this. i still remember our night escapades to the esplanade! haha! it was fun and we should do it more often. this time with the WHOLE gang so we can ton! haha! but really, thank you. you were both rational and empathetic to my problems which was really amazing considering that most guys could only do the first. ha. whoever becomes your girlfriend is not going to suffer. ha. i love you many many! =DD

Osborne: hello stranger. long time no see. the 18th is coming soon. are you excited or what?! hahahaha! by then we can go celebrate your freedom and stuff ourselves silly with all the different kind of fast foods! hahahaha! i swear, we need to watch the simpsons together! hahaha! how's your baby mouse coming? i hope you are training REAL hard cox i don't see anything in your pictures! =Pp i hope the next time i see you your hair will have improvements! haha! i want the shuai shuai osborne back! hahah! anyways, i still remember the silly phone calls that we had during our sec school days and you hear a ghost in my house. hahahah! talk about ghosts  in houses. yours is DEFINATELY haunted man. i swear. hahaha. oh! and i miss the sembawang night skies too! sitting at your house downstairs playground talking about nonsense and just enjoying the view were just amazing peaceful. you were always there for me when i needed you too and were always the rational one. i really thank you for that. =)) hang out soon k? remember i'll always love you! =D

Shone: shone, shone, shone. watching vcds at my house is becoming a habit for you. HAHAHAHA. i hated your haunted school show. never EVER borrow this kind of shows ever again. ha. you i sadly say, are still the most childish among the three guys. SERIOUSLY. grow up and be a man man! do the right thing! ha! learn from ml! ha. other than talking A LOT of cock and VERY loudly, you are still a pretty decent chap. you too were there when i needed you and thank you! =DD but! I STILL HATE YOU FOR MAKING ME WALK IN MY HEELS FOR FUCKING LONG AND STILL COMPLAIN SAY I WALK SLOW WHEN YOU WERE OBVIOUSLY LOST! hahahaha! and also, i will always remember the jing dian actions and words that your mother said to me. hahahaha! thinking back, it was damn funny. hahaha. i love you! =))


SUSANNA, HUI XIN, SEOW LING
hello! long time no see too! hahahah! yes, and also for the past 6 years cept for hx, 4, you guys were too, my pillar of strength. band has brought all of us closer together and band was made enjoyable because of people like you all! =DD you all were also there when i needed you, i love you all many manys!

Susanna: sana! it's always you whose making those little things for us to keep and now i guess it is my turn to do or rather say something to you. =)) before i say anything, you know i love you many many and will always too, be one of my bestest friends ever. =)) because of you, i became a bad person. hahaha! i became super lame and high sometimes all thanks to you huh. hahaha. you were ALWAYS there for me when i needed you and you were also one of my closest confidants over the past few years. even though we both have decided to take different paths in life after secondary school, you know you will always be in my heart. just like i know i will always be in yours. you and your nonsense was always there to cheer me up and you seem to know just what to do exactly too and i will always love you for that. =)) i still remember the endless times i was at your house doing basically nothing but jut watching tv. haha. i see your brother has SERIOUSLY matured man. hahaha. i love you loads and you know you can count on me for any of your problems. meet up soon ks? love you! =DD

Hui Xin: hello! HAHAHAHAHAH! you and your nonsense also la. always there for me when i needed you. never doubted or questioned my choice in whatever i do and always supported me for it. i is love you many many one lors. hahaha. JC and poly never seem to put cracks into our friendship because you are still as nonsense as ever! hahaha! =DD you are a very matured thinking girl and i think you know it too. hehehe. it's just like what kelvin said. me and you are like total opposites in characters but yet we still can be best of friends! hehehe! personally, i just think kelvin science fail cox he dunno that opposites attract. =)) i love you many manys and thanks for being there for me! =DD

Seow Ling: OMG SL!!!!!! hahahah! are you happy to see your name in my blog? hahaha! after all these years, you are STILL as nonsense and as funny as ever. hahaha. although after going to JC, i can see visible signs of stress and emo-ness, haha, but you are still basically the same person i fell in love with since sec 1! =DD you were always da fang and ti tie. like a guy. haha. and i know, i know. you never become a guy wasted cox you are SOOO romantic and gentlemenly and of cox not forgetting shuai. HAHAHHA. i miss my fellow taurus-nian! hahah! i remember going to your house endless times too! haha! no matter for band or work or just play! haha! i still remember you say your father say i got hao ren lian lo. ahahhah! =Pp you too were always my listening ear when i needed you and i thank you for that. i is love you many many de worrsss!! hahah! meet up soon ks? love you! =DD


Kimberly Lui Yi Qin
hello! whahahahhaha! i have know you the shortest among all the above listed lo! haha! and our friendship although shorter have been through hell of a lot more than any of the above mentioned. haha. but i am glad. cox without them, we wouldn't have such a strong friendship now! =DD for the past 3 years? you have been my pillar of support too. then it comes to my problem you were always straight with me and i thank you for that because sometimes, i really needed it. we did tons of CRAZYYYY stuff together and i still remember all! i remember our drinking sessions at the playground, i remember being in your mom's black list, i remember bluffing ml n melvin that doreen was drunk (HAHA), i remember indo chine and of cox, i remember our durian sessions. hehehe! you were a good friend to crap with and share my thoughts. you too are one of my bestest friend! =DD i love you many many worrrssss!! =DDDD

friendship is a very difficult thing to maintain. but if we maintain it well, just like a flower, it will blossom. and it know it takes effort ant time to maintain friendships but with friends like you guys, no matter how much time is definitely worth it! =DD 

danced on the moon at 1:20 am.

.............
Tuesday, July 10, 2007

i am feeling very bleah-ish now. bleah as in verbal diarrhoea sian bleah. not bleah as in stick out tongue bleah.

one, i am fucking tired.
two, i have been waiting in enter mac for the past hour for the stupid guys. (you see?where got shame these people)
three, chess club canceled last minute on me.

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

danced on the moon at 6:44 pm.

4, 6.30, 8.30

hello world. i am in school in like 8.30 in the morning after i slept at 4 in the morning and woke up at 6.30, 2 and a half hours later. GOOD. VERY GOOD.

i am very bored in lecture. are you?

derrick was talking bad about sarah one night. i have proof.









on the mrt one day.

so cute the boy!!! =DDDD *note: i am NOT a pedophile.









stupid idiot on the train. come in only play game on his hp SOOO loud know.. na beh..like i wanna hear what he is playing like that. like that still NEVER MIND know. after playing he still on song LOUD LOUD summor SING-A-LONG! fuckkkkkk!!!! seriously man. some people just have no shame at all. tsk tsk. mother never teach. still zhang de na me bao qian. really is chou ren dou zhuo guai man.



a snail on the road. so pretty! look at the trail left behind! so amazing lor!





stupid thing dropped in my food while i was eating halfway can? totally gross please! ewwwwwwww! got ant on top summor lo. fuck.



damn funny! i found this at a popiah stall! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!



btw, i changed my font size already. HAVE YOU ALL NOTICED? hehehehehe! so jessi, kim and sarah, pls do not scold me anymore! i also have mother one! =(( hahahahah!

danced on the moon at 8:56 am.

powerbook 2
Friday, July 06, 2007

tonight will be my last night with my stand in powerbook. his name is powerbook 2. my ibook will be collected tomorrow and i will miss you powerbook. i will miss typing on your keyboard and the your 15 inch screen. the times we had together though short, were happy. we shared many happy experiences and memories together. pls take care of yourself and i wish your next owner would treat you nicely. i will miss you! goodbye!






danced on the moon at 6:29 pm.

karma

yep. tonight is all about karma. i spent my one WHOLE day in school online reading creepy urban legends. then during radio practice, stupid yi song go and prank call EVERYBODY. although i wasn't involved, i was involved in laughing. haha. and! i ALWAYS laughed at kelda about her paranoia about BM. then!

DENG DENG DENG! retribution come already.

when i finally reached home, i was too afraid to go and bathe because of all the stupid urban legends! as in SERIOUSLY! my turn to be afraid of BM sia. na beh. so i was watching tv 1st. then! STUPID pizza hut commercial come on! lidat nvm, the 1st thing the stupid commercial did was SCREAMMMM!!!! NA BEH!!! i tio chua know! is really xia dao lorrrrrrr. kao. no cheese only wat! need to scream so loud a not?! haha. na beh. then i remembered another urban legend where a girl was watching tv then she saw a reflection in the tv. then i was DAMN scared la! na beh. bathe also cannot, watch tv also cannot. sat key alr.

then finally! my daddy come home! savior man! so i quickly CHIONGGGGG to the bathroom and bathe and brush my teeth. woo! is exciting one lo. adrenaline rush man. haha. in case you were wondering, yes, my mama and my brother was at home but they were all SLEEPING! so ya. ha.

like i said. retribution man. really. hahaha. karma. what goes around comes around. i better start making my own list. hahahaha.

anyways, what happened today surprised me. some good, some bad. the only people i can find comfort in are those online. so i went online as usual and started ranting to almost EVERYBODY. haha. and some people really surprised me with their reactions.

as usual, some people were always there for me when i needed them. some talked a lot to try to coax me to bathe like geri, sarah and andy. and some didn't say much about it but you still know they'll be there for you like doreen, kelda and wei ming. THANK YOU MANY MANYS! I LOVE YOU ALL DEEP DEEP WORRSSSS! =DDDD esp sarah for your moral and immoral support! HAHAHAHAHA! n geri for spongebob, patrick and underdog! haha! =D oh ya! and wm, i totally agree with you. mass comm is a bitch. like totally.

some however, was being a jerk for the night! i really was surprised by this person as i would expect him to be someone in the previous list. when i told him what happen , he said "i don't have time for this kind of stupid jokes" and i'm like WTF?! i am so NOT joking la. nvm. lidat still nvm. because he was having some problems of his own, he told me his and asked me if i understand a not. and i said no. because the fact IS that i REALLY don't! and he conveniently thought that i was joking again and commented "whatever la. then don't talk to me. you'll only annoy me at this rate." and then i was like WTF?! i really dunno wat! i mean it's bad enough that you cast my problems as "STUPID JOKES" and now you're even saying that i annoy you just because i REALLY don't understand? like WTF man. seriously. WTF. i seriously dunno what to say to you.

HOWEVER! unhappiness is always followed by happiness and some people really surprised me! =DD people that i'm not really very close with show me more support than that stupid person mentioned above i am kinda close with! people like jian chang and janson really surprised me tonight! jian chang surprised me because he was emphatic and actually went to the website and told me that he was a little freaked too. he also did quite a bit of coaxing for me to go to bathe. well. actually A LOT. haha. but ya. heavy point is he emphatised. i am amazed. and as for janson, he too did his fair share of coaxing but he went the extra mile and asked whether i needed to talk to him on the phone while i bathed a not. after which i said was ok, he added that if i had nightmares or whatsoever, i could call him no matter what time to tell him and get comfort from him and i was like awwwww. so sweetttttttt. ha. really. also, he said a very tok gong line. he said: " if you're scared, you just think of me and i promise you you won't see anything scarier than that." and i was like, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! really damn funny pls! hahaha! and ya, i think he changed a lot. compared to last time, he won't even say this kind of thing about himself but now, he said it! hahahaha! thanks janson! you're the best! =DDD i hope you quit smoking! =DD

ha. now i can REALLY hear kelda scolding me.
"i hate you. who ask you laugh at me? tmr i will slap you. orbee you scared of BM. retribution ah tze yee."
hahaha! sorry la! hahah! i sing the umbrella song for you ks? hahaha!

I LUBB EUU ALL DIP DIPPPP! THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR MEEE!!! =DDD

anyways, after seeing the lyrics of S.H.E.'s 谢谢你的温柔, i realised that the song is actually quite sad and i'm starting to fall in love with it despite fei lun hai's really lousy singing in it. the song is really actually quite meaningful. the story line really is very sad.


S.H.E/fei lun hai - 谢谢你的温柔

S.H.E:谢谢你如此温柔 
S.H.E:捧着爱情静静等候
S.H.E:我的双手 
S.H.E:其实同样在颤抖

S.H.E:但我能给你什么 
S.H.E:我只是一个他遗忘的我 
S.H.E:心被一扫而空

S.H.E:我会把你种在我心中 
S.H.E:也许某天会终于
S.H.E:再次长出一个梦

飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要
飞轮海:为什么 我的心
飞轮海:明明是想靠近
飞轮海:却孤单到黎明
飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要
飞轮海:为什么 我的心
飞轮海:那爱情的绮丽 
飞轮海:总是在孤单里 
飞轮海:再把我的最好的爱给你

S.H.E:谢谢你如此温柔 
S.H.E:点着笑容的灯火 
S.H.E:只温暖而不打扰我的寒冬

S.H.E:还没决定往哪走 
S.H.E:才所以不能答应你陪我
S.H.E:怕你会变成我 

S.H.E:我会把你种在我心中
S.H.E:也许某天会终于
S.H.E:再次长出一个梦

飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要
飞轮海:为什么 我的心
飞轮海:明明是想靠近
飞轮海:却孤单到黎明

飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要
飞轮海:为什么 我的心
飞轮海:那爱情的绮丽
飞轮海:总是在孤单里 
飞轮海:再把我的最好的爱给你

飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要
飞轮海:为什么 我的心
飞轮海:明明是想靠近 
飞轮海:却孤单到黎明

飞轮海:不知道 不明了 不想要
飞轮海:为什么 我的心
飞轮海:那爱情的绮丽
飞轮海:总是在孤单里
飞轮海:再把我的最好的爱给你

S.H.E:谢谢你如此温柔
S.H.E:点着笑容的灯火 
S.H.E:只温暖而不打扰我的寒冬
S.H.E:还没决定往哪走 
S.H.E:才所以不能答应你陪我 
S.H.E:怕你会变成我

danced on the moon at 2:46 am.

school work
Tuesday, July 03, 2007

this is a reminder to me. school is NOT a fun place to be. i have tons aof assignments to do. and since my lappy is still not back yet, wo zhi hao put it down here to remind myself before i forget and DIEEEEEEE.

1) newswriting: FA2: get story done by 9th july, 5pm. (NXT MON!)
FA3: get stories!!!

2) webd: e-zine: get the whole structure going!
due on 27th july (5pm)!
journal: add more entries!
due on 20 july (5pm)!

3) commissues: presentation NXT THURS.

4) radio: on-air and dalet test NXT FRI.

5) PR: get strategies done by MON, 10am!

6) I&E: attend stupid chess comp. 9th to 12th july. 4pm.
do reflective journal by 22nd july!
team progress update by THIS SUN!

7) andy's website: fine tune it.

if it wasn't for the money. i wouldn't even think of doing his stupid website. too much pressure alr. si beh sat key.

i guess that's all for now. ok! i can do this! jia you jia you jia you!

danced on the moon at 3:12 am.

please kill me
Monday, July 02, 2007

can somebody just stab me in the heart?! oh my fucking tian! even ghost whisperer is GONE! NO MORE! na beh! now i am REALLY sad. haiiiiiiiiiii. why lidat you tell me? why lidat?! rahhhhh!!!

i can almost hear kelda scolding me.

"tze yee ah tze yee, who ask you no want to watch finish all at one go the other time? orbi ah orbi."

yes. this is retribution. it is.

danced on the moon at 12:40 am.

eruo fanfair!
Sunday, July 01, 2007

today i finally had a chance to go back to the euro fun fair! =DDD i finally sat all the rides i wanna sit cept for the vortex. =( i am deeply saddened. so exciting lo that one! see already also excited! some people la. hum ji. hahah. i am SOOOOO happy i went and sat all but one ride that i wanted to sit!

i think the ferris wheel is really...woo...speechless man me. tmd. sit so DAMN LONGGGGGGG lo. wha lao. i counted. 20 freaking rounds. the heavy point was it was so slow! i just simply couldn't stand it la! alamak! sit from evening to night know! SERIOUSLY! oh my tian. i was like 100 years already still no wan stop. si beh sat key man. no wonder $7.50. is long untillllllll...wha kao. peng san man.

and there's one ride called tristar where you only need 2 tokens to sit but it's really worth the 2 tokens lo. not like the stupid ferris wheel. you don't expect much from something that cost 2 tokens but this one was quite exciting! it was quite slow through the whole ride and just when i thought it was about to end, it started to speed up! like oh my tian la! and speed up REAL fast summor! woo! is exciting one lo! woo! really damn sat key. some people vomitted after that ride summor. haha!

it was REALLY fun and i really enjoyed myself and had fun! hehe! fun fun fun! woo!!! hahahahah!

oh right! i saw zhi wen too! that stupid hum ji boy don't dare to sit anything. must wait until we sit already then he sit. haha! sit skyride also dou. he win already. haha! and yes zhi wen, don't think i dunno you will read my blog. don't sad la k? i don't pai chi hum ji people. in fact, most of my friends are hum jis. haha! no sad k? i still love you! hahahah! =DDD

danced on the moon at 2:49 am.