feel the love.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
today my world seems to be a brighter place.
even though it was raining in the morning, it made me feel warm from all the love i recieve. haha. serious. raining in the morning sucks. especially if you have to work. usually if it is not raining, i will take a bus to interchange then train to town then bus to office. when i left home, it wasn't raining at all so i didn't bring an umbrella. but when i exited the mrt intending to walk to the bus stop, OMFG. the rain is FUCKING big pls! sneak attack! ha. and the bus stop is quite far away! with no shelter and many traffic lights, it is hard/impossible to get across dry. so there i was feeling sucky because i was stuck and therefore late for work.
so, i messaged my bosses and colleauges to tell them i am stuck at orchard mrt and won't be able to get there till the rain becomes smaller. i stayed under shelter hoping some samaritan will come to my rescus and offer me an umbrella to share. but those with umbrellas just breeze right through without a care for those stuck at the shelter.
AND THEN! my first ray of light came when my senior called me to ask me where am i and ask me to stay there cox she'll come pick me up. and at first i thought she was late too that's why she can shun lu come and pick me up. but as it turns out, she wasn't! she was in the office when i msg her and she came all the way from the office and back just to come and pick me up! wo bu kui shi ta de favourite intern and she bu kui shi shi jie shang qui hao de lao ban! T.T
so after i hung up and was waiting for her at the shelter, this nice lady came up to me and ask me whether i wanna share her umbrella a not. i was really shocked cox she was so nice but she came a tad to late. T.T but i thanked her though. she is really really nice! =D
so i was looking out for my senior's car to stop at the road side. but when she came, she came in a familiar but different car. but it was only when i board the car that i realise that it was actually yongxi's car! even though that ass didn't reply me when i msg him, he lend his car to wing to come and fetch me! i is really ji gan dong yi xia by the both of them! T.T
my gloomy day became warm and feeled with love because of them! i is love you both many many! =DDDDDDDD
2 more days!
this makes me even happier! =DDDDDDDDD
even though it was raining in the morning, it made me feel warm from all the love i recieve. haha. serious. raining in the morning sucks. especially if you have to work. usually if it is not raining, i will take a bus to interchange then train to town then bus to office. when i left home, it wasn't raining at all so i didn't bring an umbrella. but when i exited the mrt intending to walk to the bus stop, OMFG. the rain is FUCKING big pls! sneak attack! ha. and the bus stop is quite far away! with no shelter and many traffic lights, it is hard/impossible to get across dry. so there i was feeling sucky because i was stuck and therefore late for work.
so, i messaged my bosses and colleauges to tell them i am stuck at orchard mrt and won't be able to get there till the rain becomes smaller. i stayed under shelter hoping some samaritan will come to my rescus and offer me an umbrella to share. but those with umbrellas just breeze right through without a care for those stuck at the shelter.
AND THEN! my first ray of light came when my senior called me to ask me where am i and ask me to stay there cox she'll come pick me up. and at first i thought she was late too that's why she can shun lu come and pick me up. but as it turns out, she wasn't! she was in the office when i msg her and she came all the way from the office and back just to come and pick me up! wo bu kui shi ta de favourite intern and she bu kui shi shi jie shang qui hao de lao ban! T.T
so after i hung up and was waiting for her at the shelter, this nice lady came up to me and ask me whether i wanna share her umbrella a not. i was really shocked cox she was so nice but she came a tad to late. T.T but i thanked her though. she is really really nice! =D
so i was looking out for my senior's car to stop at the road side. but when she came, she came in a familiar but different car. but it was only when i board the car that i realise that it was actually yongxi's car! even though that ass didn't reply me when i msg him, he lend his car to wing to come and fetch me! i is really ji gan dong yi xia by the both of them! T.T
my gloomy day became warm and feeled with love because of them! i is love you both many many! =DDDDDDDD
2 more days!
this makes me even happier! =DDDDDDDDD
danced on the moon at 2:31 pm.
no strings attached.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
i really want a gay guy friend.
bonus if he's funny and/or rich. haha. it's like how zoe tay and fann wong have david gan. how carrie has stanford. how hermione has harry potter. i also want a gay guy to call my own! haha. and I AM BEING TOTALLY SERIOUS.
i'm sick of men already. I WANT A REAL GAY! hahaha! serious! guys no matter what always come with strings attached. especially if they want to be good friends with you. i am sick and tired of having this kind of friends.
i just want real guy friends with no agenda like osborne and yisong. haha. well.. i guess yisong is half girl. but ya. haha.
think about it. isn't it good to have a guy and girl friend all merged into one? PERFECT! =D
3 MORE DAYS!
=DDDDD
danced on the moon at 11:01 pm.
because maybe. just nothing.
danced on the moon at 12:15 pm.
just.
Monday, July 20, 2009
i think maybe, i am a bad person.
serious.
i just sometimes don't understand the people around me. people don't take me seriously when i'm being serious. when i praise or compliment someone seriously they will think i am being sarcastic. when i msg/im some people, they will choose not to reply. and the funny thing is these people are the people whom i put close to my heart. so i'm thinking maybe the feeling is not mutual. maybe i'm just thinking too much on my part. maybe i'm living in a fantasy world of my own for a long time.
yes i admit i can get very annoying at times and that may piss some people off but if you truly know me, i am not someone that will talk nonsense or ask questions just to purposely annoy you when i am being serious or when you are being serious.
sometimes i think maybe i'm the one with the problem. i'm the annoying and irritating one that everyone just wants to stay away from. and if not one but some people in my life are acting that way, then i think i can safely conclude that the problem really lies with me.
i'm just really tired of needing and wanting to explain myself to all those people. i just don't understand why they can't see the line i'm drawing between my being annoying and serious. and if you can't tell the difference then maybe you don't know me well enough or you don't know me as well as i thought or would like you to be.
i don't even understand why am i having this internal struggle with myself. i was feeling fine until this dawned on me and now i'm just feeling emo and sucky.
well then, this just sucks.
i'm just glad that i have my baby, doreen, jessica, susanna, seow ling, sarah and osborne in my life. if you're name is not mentioned and you think we're good friends and you should probably be in this section, you probably should. it's just that offhand, these are the people who have been constant in my life and they have been my pillar of strength for many years. especially my secondary school friends. they have been with me for 7 to 8 years now, been with me through thick and thin, been non-judgemental throughout everything and they really know me as me. they really accept me for who i am, annoying or not, and have stuck with me for so long despite everything. they read me like a book and understand when i confide in them. they love the real me, no matter how crazy that sounds, and in turn i love them very very much too. these people are the people that i cannot bear to lose and i thank god for them every single day of my life. =)
5 more days! =D
you make my crazy world alright.
serious.
i just sometimes don't understand the people around me. people don't take me seriously when i'm being serious. when i praise or compliment someone seriously they will think i am being sarcastic. when i msg/im some people, they will choose not to reply. and the funny thing is these people are the people whom i put close to my heart. so i'm thinking maybe the feeling is not mutual. maybe i'm just thinking too much on my part. maybe i'm living in a fantasy world of my own for a long time.
yes i admit i can get very annoying at times and that may piss some people off but if you truly know me, i am not someone that will talk nonsense or ask questions just to purposely annoy you when i am being serious or when you are being serious.
sometimes i think maybe i'm the one with the problem. i'm the annoying and irritating one that everyone just wants to stay away from. and if not one but some people in my life are acting that way, then i think i can safely conclude that the problem really lies with me.
i'm just really tired of needing and wanting to explain myself to all those people. i just don't understand why they can't see the line i'm drawing between my being annoying and serious. and if you can't tell the difference then maybe you don't know me well enough or you don't know me as well as i thought or would like you to be.
i don't even understand why am i having this internal struggle with myself. i was feeling fine until this dawned on me and now i'm just feeling emo and sucky.
well then, this just sucks.
i'm just glad that i have my baby, doreen, jessica, susanna, seow ling, sarah and osborne in my life. if you're name is not mentioned and you think we're good friends and you should probably be in this section, you probably should. it's just that offhand, these are the people who have been constant in my life and they have been my pillar of strength for many years. especially my secondary school friends. they have been with me for 7 to 8 years now, been with me through thick and thin, been non-judgemental throughout everything and they really know me as me. they really accept me for who i am, annoying or not, and have stuck with me for so long despite everything. they read me like a book and understand when i confide in them. they love the real me, no matter how crazy that sounds, and in turn i love them very very much too. these people are the people that i cannot bear to lose and i thank god for them every single day of my life. =)
5 more days! =D
you make my crazy world alright.
danced on the moon at 7:22 pm.
reminiscing again.
Monday, July 13, 2009
i know you all must be bored out of your minds reading chunky paragraphs of words so, here's a post with photos! these are the photos taken at my recent class bbq.
apparently sl still has the bad habit of steal taking people's photo. and i don't know why but both sana's and my mouth look like they're doing the same action. haha! and check out her uber chao ta corn. lidat still eat know! ta dou crazy de.
despite standing on the thingy which i suddenly cannot remember what its called, we're still only half a head taller than kat. T.T
yes, here i am caught gobbling the fish balls all by myself and looking pregnant. haha. THANK GOD sl didn't bring her DSLR.
HAHAHAHAHHA! this is SUPERRR old and epic pls! haha! i don't even know why i kept it. probably because we spent so much time and effort on making it in jessi's house with osborne singing to S.H.E.'s IOIO. HAHA!
i totally forgot i had this. pearly treated us to zi char because we scored As for english and we really gave her face cox this is the first time beatty had 9 As for english in one class, her form class and our english teacher summor! she proud sia. haha! check out how small my face was last time. SIGH!
HAHAHAHA! JESSICA LEE JIA YI! I WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU FOR CALLING MY HUSBAND THAT! haha! super funny last time when i first got it in my mail. and till now i don't understand why you couldn't just give it to me during school time rather than snail mail it to me. haha.
HAHAHA! i really had no idea why i drew that. haha! and my god! reading through my book i was really a VERY qian bian student last time! ha! where got student write, draw and spell until lidat for a marked assignment one? haha! i really pei fu myself for my guts. terence tan must really feel like killing me last time. haha.
i kept my book because of all the signatures at the back.
i seriously have no idea who are these 2 people. and yes, i know i am damn clever. HAHAHAHA! and wtf is BROKE?! hahaha!
below are what my friends and classmates think of me:
eh bapok, i really forgot lei. haha. i dun even remember ever sitting the bus to east coast together with you before. haha! what happen?
and so as you can see, from as young as sec 2 i am already widely recognised as a cute, chio, smart and crazy girl. HAHAHA! and all is not i say one okay?! hahaha! u see u see! i knew you guys love me. haha!
if you think i'm crazy, you have never met doreen. see what she wrote on my book when we were just SEC ONE. she secretly has a thing for me lo. haha!
YES YES! THAT IS MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA! and if by now you still do not know who is jon jonsson then shame on you! haha. google is your best friend! and borne you spell wrongly! but i is forgive you cox u called me that. haha!
see i keep all your letters and cards one okay? haha. and i realise that sana has been the only constant one that has been sending my christmas cards every year since sec 1 and jessi since sec 2. haha. love you both! =)
oh! i found a birthday card from poly year 1. the WHOLE class gave it to me cox they budget. haha!
SOOOOOOO UNLIKE YISONG to say all these god bless crap. haha! he was so good at hiding his true colours then!
now to end of this post, let me show you how cute and chio i was in sec 2. haha!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUPER EPIC! WOO!! neoprints summor! haha! yeah that's me. the super skinny one. WAI?! WAI GOD WAI?! WAI ARE YOU MAKING ME GROW HORIZONTALLY EVERY YEAR?! T.T
12 days.
yearning.
danced on the moon at 7:54 pm.
changes.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
yesterday, i had a sudden revelation of how old i really am. It was my sec 4 class bbq and i was the only one from my clique who went which is really weird because:
but, that is not the point. ha. the point is i have no idea why in hell would i agree to go to this year's class bbq seeing that i rejected them for the past 4 years every time they organise one. Maybe because this time sl, sana and kat are there and it is afterall held in kat's condo. If i was bored out of my brains at least we could go up to hers and play mj and ignore everyone downstairs.
I remember feeling fucked as i approached closer and closer to the bbq pit. I remember scolding myself for being stupid to agree and my mind keeps replaying any possible akward scenes that may happen.
And when i finally reached the bbq pit, i remember the initial akwardness I felt and i kept scolding myself for being gei kiang to go without my friends there and so i was the odd one out. but as the night progressed, i started to remember how it was like in the past and started to talk with every single person from my class that was there.
Maybe it was sl and sana that made me feel a little more comfortable with my surroundings. I really don't know. I started to feel more like myself and really started to mingle and chat with my ex-classmates. And then I remember how comfortable I felt with them in the past. Long ago in a time where everything and everyone was still innocent and simple. The only stress we had was 'O' levels and that was all. And then I wish that we were still in that stage, young, naive and without a care in the world.
Anyway, the point is everyone has changed but yet not really in their own special way. People I have not seen in years tell me I am still the same. as qian da as ever. ha. and then I start to wonder why in the world would I even feel akward in the first place. Everyone is still as nice and fun as before, it's just that I never really took the time to really meet up and know them ever since we graduated.
I'm really happy I got to see ali, gwen, dhurga and friends. They're still the same, still my friends. ha. and something has changed in dhurga. she's more fun and out-going than compared to the past. It was really fun talking to her. =D
and what shocked me the most was how much jeremy chin and darren have changed. They were the only guys from my class that came.. cept for sree. haha. especially jeremy chin. and no, his hair is not as Q as before. haha. he has really matured ever since i last saw him which was in school. haha. He no longer is the irritating little bugger that use to irritate the hell out of me. He is now SUPER matre and religious. yes, you saw right, RELIGIOUS. he has since turned to christ and my god has he really changed. he looks and sounds much better than before. he even remembers stuff that I don't remember anymore. like his monster spider compo and that i got him a b.u.m. underwear for his birthday, which i seriously don't remember. HAHA. but ya. he remembers! my god. he even still has my number on his phone even though for 4 years we had absolutely NO contact at all. yes, i am ashamed to say that I deleted his a long time ago. haha. not that i am saying he is not as irritating as before. he still is and i wanted to kill him last night because of it but he has a changed aura and he really carried himself differently now. he even invited dhurga and bf to his church. hmmm.
and darren tan.. i really didn't talk to him at all. haha. sad to say i was still very bias against him last night. because i remember every time i talk to him in the past i will get a super qian bian answer out of him so in time i just completely shut him out. everytime he talked to me online or ask me to go class bbq, i would either not reply or give a mono word reply. when i got to the bbq he was already there with sree and i remember rolling my eyes at how typical this would be. haha. his hair and dressing really pissed me off. haha. he looks even more like an ah beng. but what really pisses me off was how skinny he became. He used to be super skinny already but now... it's like he'll disappear anytime. and that really pisses me off because i'm indirectly proportionate to his size. hahaha! but ya, throughout the whole bbq i did not say a word to him at all. but because towards the end, sl was talking to his group which constist of shihua and liwen and sree, i ended up talking to them too. I was apprehensive at first because from the outside, it looked like nothing changed about him except his weight but as he started talking, i noticed the difference. he for once, is not as qian da as he was the past. his sentence now has no hint of qian bian-ness at all and they actually sound mature and sincere for once. I remember how they were saying that me and sl did not go for last year's bbq at his condo and he said it was because we didn't like him. and his face was so serious, his voice so sincere when he said it, i think he really meant it. and at that point, i started feeling guilty which i shouldn't but ya. hmm. and during the bbq, liwen passed him my cup to ask him to refill it and instead of the usual qian bian-ness i was expecting to get from him, he gladly took my cup and refilled it. with ice summor. no complains. AT ALL. if it were the past, i would've gotten hell and a lot of nagging from him. and then when we were leaving, liwen asked him if he could send me home since he was sending her home too and our houses are super near, he said okay with no complains. and on the way home, if i ever asked him a question or talk to him, he would reply me sincerely without any bull crap which was really shocking to me. and i remember for wanting to kick li wen because she told him to drop me off last which was logical due to the route he was taking and i tried to talk her out of it without being too obvious that i was not ready to be stuck in his car alone with him on the way home feeling akward. and he said "don't worry la, i'm not going to take you to sell." i thought i was being subtle but apparently not. haha. and i felt rather guilty when he found out. haha. but anyway, heavy point is the short 3 minutes car ride hom alone with him after he dropped li wen off was not as akward as i imagined and the way he talks to me really changed. now he's more mature than before, thinks before he speaks and speaks really gently to me. He speaks as if like a father talking to his daughter, any louder or rougher and i would cry. which is really a huge change for him as i would expect him to be kp and stuff but instead i got gentle and mature. hmmm.
anyway, my point is people really do change over the years and it has really got me thinking of whether or not it is me who refuses to let go of the past and just take a look at my surroundings now and appriciate the changes life has brought upon us. hmmm.
all i know is if there is ever a 4e2 bbq again, i would definately be going. =)
14 days.
you never leave my thoughts.
- I would NEVER go to my class bbqs. not in the past, not ever. i think they're lame.
- My friends are not going why would i?
but, that is not the point. ha. the point is i have no idea why in hell would i agree to go to this year's class bbq seeing that i rejected them for the past 4 years every time they organise one. Maybe because this time sl, sana and kat are there and it is afterall held in kat's condo. If i was bored out of my brains at least we could go up to hers and play mj and ignore everyone downstairs.
I remember feeling fucked as i approached closer and closer to the bbq pit. I remember scolding myself for being stupid to agree and my mind keeps replaying any possible akward scenes that may happen.
And when i finally reached the bbq pit, i remember the initial akwardness I felt and i kept scolding myself for being gei kiang to go without my friends there and so i was the odd one out. but as the night progressed, i started to remember how it was like in the past and started to talk with every single person from my class that was there.
Maybe it was sl and sana that made me feel a little more comfortable with my surroundings. I really don't know. I started to feel more like myself and really started to mingle and chat with my ex-classmates. And then I remember how comfortable I felt with them in the past. Long ago in a time where everything and everyone was still innocent and simple. The only stress we had was 'O' levels and that was all. And then I wish that we were still in that stage, young, naive and without a care in the world.
Anyway, the point is everyone has changed but yet not really in their own special way. People I have not seen in years tell me I am still the same. as qian da as ever. ha. and then I start to wonder why in the world would I even feel akward in the first place. Everyone is still as nice and fun as before, it's just that I never really took the time to really meet up and know them ever since we graduated.
I'm really happy I got to see ali, gwen, dhurga and friends. They're still the same, still my friends. ha. and something has changed in dhurga. she's more fun and out-going than compared to the past. It was really fun talking to her. =D
and what shocked me the most was how much jeremy chin and darren have changed. They were the only guys from my class that came.. cept for sree. haha. especially jeremy chin. and no, his hair is not as Q as before. haha. he has really matured ever since i last saw him which was in school. haha. He no longer is the irritating little bugger that use to irritate the hell out of me. He is now SUPER matre and religious. yes, you saw right, RELIGIOUS. he has since turned to christ and my god has he really changed. he looks and sounds much better than before. he even remembers stuff that I don't remember anymore. like his monster spider compo and that i got him a b.u.m. underwear for his birthday, which i seriously don't remember. HAHA. but ya. he remembers! my god. he even still has my number on his phone even though for 4 years we had absolutely NO contact at all. yes, i am ashamed to say that I deleted his a long time ago. haha. not that i am saying he is not as irritating as before. he still is and i wanted to kill him last night because of it but he has a changed aura and he really carried himself differently now. he even invited dhurga and bf to his church. hmmm.
and darren tan.. i really didn't talk to him at all. haha. sad to say i was still very bias against him last night. because i remember every time i talk to him in the past i will get a super qian bian answer out of him so in time i just completely shut him out. everytime he talked to me online or ask me to go class bbq, i would either not reply or give a mono word reply. when i got to the bbq he was already there with sree and i remember rolling my eyes at how typical this would be. haha. his hair and dressing really pissed me off. haha. he looks even more like an ah beng. but what really pisses me off was how skinny he became. He used to be super skinny already but now... it's like he'll disappear anytime. and that really pisses me off because i'm indirectly proportionate to his size. hahaha! but ya, throughout the whole bbq i did not say a word to him at all. but because towards the end, sl was talking to his group which constist of shihua and liwen and sree, i ended up talking to them too. I was apprehensive at first because from the outside, it looked like nothing changed about him except his weight but as he started talking, i noticed the difference. he for once, is not as qian da as he was the past. his sentence now has no hint of qian bian-ness at all and they actually sound mature and sincere for once. I remember how they were saying that me and sl did not go for last year's bbq at his condo and he said it was because we didn't like him. and his face was so serious, his voice so sincere when he said it, i think he really meant it. and at that point, i started feeling guilty which i shouldn't but ya. hmm. and during the bbq, liwen passed him my cup to ask him to refill it and instead of the usual qian bian-ness i was expecting to get from him, he gladly took my cup and refilled it. with ice summor. no complains. AT ALL. if it were the past, i would've gotten hell and a lot of nagging from him. and then when we were leaving, liwen asked him if he could send me home since he was sending her home too and our houses are super near, he said okay with no complains. and on the way home, if i ever asked him a question or talk to him, he would reply me sincerely without any bull crap which was really shocking to me. and i remember for wanting to kick li wen because she told him to drop me off last which was logical due to the route he was taking and i tried to talk her out of it without being too obvious that i was not ready to be stuck in his car alone with him on the way home feeling akward. and he said "don't worry la, i'm not going to take you to sell." i thought i was being subtle but apparently not. haha. and i felt rather guilty when he found out. haha. but anyway, heavy point is the short 3 minutes car ride hom alone with him after he dropped li wen off was not as akward as i imagined and the way he talks to me really changed. now he's more mature than before, thinks before he speaks and speaks really gently to me. He speaks as if like a father talking to his daughter, any louder or rougher and i would cry. which is really a huge change for him as i would expect him to be kp and stuff but instead i got gentle and mature. hmmm.
anyway, my point is people really do change over the years and it has really got me thinking of whether or not it is me who refuses to let go of the past and just take a look at my surroundings now and appriciate the changes life has brought upon us. hmmm.
all i know is if there is ever a 4e2 bbq again, i would definately be going. =)
14 days.
you never leave my thoughts.
danced on the moon at 1:12 pm.
blue.
Friday, July 10, 2009
the start of another bad day.
sigh.
15 days.
sigh.
15 days.
danced on the moon at 10:52 am.
emo.
Thursday, July 09, 2009
silent black nights.
boring mind-numbing days.
the world comes to a standstill.
16 more days.
boring mind-numbing days.
the world comes to a standstill.
16 more days.
danced on the moon at 2:08 pm.
taurus
Thursday, July 02, 2009
kym had nothing better to do at work.
TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20)Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - - passionate. Expresses themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulges themselves often. Very generous.
=D
TAURUS - The Enduring One (April 20 - May 20)Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings who are stable and secure in their ways. Not looking for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - - passionate. Expresses themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulges themselves often. Very generous.
=D
danced on the moon at 11:14 am.